i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
PANTIES FOUND
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