you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
