if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
