he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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