I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
