i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
