his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
