Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
