I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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