their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
love makes seman taste better
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
