Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He better not be in your backpack
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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