Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
