Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
