My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
