I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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