How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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