after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
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