nut hugger
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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