I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
