So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She told me I should be a condom model.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
