I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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