Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
