Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
