i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
