i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I would ride that face into the sunset
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