How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
