Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
