Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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