Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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