i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
