Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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