Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
