I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
