i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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