I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize