9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
