well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
