dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
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