Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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