we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
