last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
