everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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