I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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