just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Randomize
