Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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