you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
