He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
you didnt know i had herpes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize