you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
