What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
