so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
