Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Houston, we have a squirter
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
