so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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