I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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