I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
