My room smells like vodka and shame
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
