Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
you would pick up someone in the library
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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