My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
