he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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