arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
So much rum. So many feels.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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