K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Randomize
