I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize