I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
