Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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