a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Randomize