You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
