I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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