too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
