This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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