i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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